Posts Tagged ‘what to do when the parent of a friend dies’

When someone dies, stories and vignettes become very important. 
Tell stories and listen to the family tell stories.  If you recall an experience you shared with the person who has passed away and that experience warms your heart – share that story.
    When my father passed away, one of the neighbors from our grade school years, Mrs. Vogrin, told us a story of an Easter Sunday.   That Easter Sunday, my father proudly showed her his 5 little girls and said, “Come look at my little flowers!”  That is one of my favorite stories now and we never would have known that about my father if Mrs. Vogrin had not told that story.  
     Telling of stories is very important to lay down memory tracks in the brain.
     If you cannot speak it — write it. 
     If you cannot write it — ask someone else to write it for you.
     Every card and note works.  The hand written expression carries the love and energy of the person who sent it and there is magic in that. 
     We received a note from a man who had known my mother in high school.  He wrote the story that when he was feeling a little out of place in their huge high school she made friends with him, remembered his name and made him feel esteemed.  OVER FIFTY YEARS ater the fact, he remembered this.  That was a fabulous letter.   From that letter I know that none of our acts of kindness go unnoticed in the big picture.


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