Posts Tagged ‘what to do when someone dies’

The hard-copy of “Do You Still Laugh? Do You Still Sing?” is currently being re-designed for e-book distribution and new hard copy.

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Thanks for your interest – we wish you peace in all of your relationships. 🙂


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     We go through your things too quickly.  Thousands of objects in this house – big ones, little ones, your hands have touched them all.
     I learned recently that our hands and arms are part of the energy circuitry of our hearts.  That means your heart has also touched each of these objects.
     Everything feels so soft when I touch it.  It seems to have your love on it.  Everything and everywhere.  How do you do that?
     Everyone thinks I cry because you are gone – and that’s not it.  I cry because our expression of love seems so meager compared to yours.  Ours is so hard compared to your softness.  How will we ever learn?

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When death arrives, do not be too strong.
There are many people who want to do things for you at this time.  Let them.
Let them do every little thing they desire to do.
And ask for assistance.
Ask for assistance with every little thing you have to do.
     I asked a long-time family friend to ride with me to the health-food store very late one night and she was pleased to do it.  It seems like such a simple thing – ride with me to the store – but we had time to talk privately in a way prior circumstances had never allowed. 
     Across the room, while sitting at the dining room table, a friend heard me say I wanted a soda, and “poof”, seconds later it was by my side.  (See?  A little piece of heaven.)

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Chop wood and carry water.  The simple things.  These are the things to tend to when someone dies.  The laundry.
The dishes.
Taking out the trash.
Cutting the grass.
The groceries.
The bathrooms.
Stay with the children.
Just show up and do them.
There is so much love in those acts. 
Make sure the family is drinking enough water (really).
When my mother died, another friend came from California to stay with me for a few days when I returned from Texas — and she did the groceries, the laundry, the driving.  Showing up is a beautiful gift and makes the transition easier.

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