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Posts Tagged ‘book about death’

Take your time with the belongings of the deceased. do not pressure yourself to “handle things” and do not let anyone else pressure you to “handle things”.
Touch everything you want to touch.
Acknowledge everything you want to acknowledge.
Remember everything you want to remember.
Treat it all with love and respect.
You are not just cleaning out a house, or a closet. You are being given the opportunity to walk through a life. Treat it with respect and love.
One friend of mine has yet to clean out her mother’s clothing and belongings a couple of years after-the-fact. She said she’ll go visit her dad and see a scarf or sweater or something else of her mother’s and take it home with her. She said she can feel her mother’s energy when she wears those things and it’s a little piece of her mother with her.
How beautiful.
Taking home little pieces like that has made the change smoother and a little easier for her.

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Mother,
     We go through your things too quickly.  Thousands of objects in this house – big ones, little ones, your hands have touched them all.
     I learned recently that our hands and arms are part of the energy circuitry of our hearts.  That means your heart has also touched each of these objects.
     Everything feels so soft when I touch it.  It seems to have your love on it.  Everything and everywhere.  How do you do that?
     Everyone thinks I cry because you are gone – and that’s not it.  I cry because our expression of love seems so meager compared to yours.  Ours is so hard compared to your softness.  How will we ever learn?

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Elisabeth Kubler Ross gave the world a great gift in her life’s work.
I will repeat her five stages of grief here and I recommend you purchase her classic book
“On Death and Dying”
The Stages:
1) Denial – This isn’t happening.
2) Anger –  Why me/us?  It’s not fair.
3) Bargaining – Just a little more time.
4) Depression – Why bother with anything?
5) Acceptance – It’s going to be OK.
You may experience only 2 of these, or you may experience all 5.  They may go in order, and they may not.  You can read more about Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ work here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
And you can purchase seriously discounted versions of the book here:
http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?an=Elizabeth+kubler+ross&sts=t&tn=on+death+and+dying&x=82&y=6
Or on Amazon her books are listed here:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=elisabeth+kubler+ross&x=0&y=0

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“It is 1999 and both of my parents have passed away.  And there is nothing special about this.”   
In 1999, I wrote a book called “Do You Still Laugh?  Do You Still Sing?  Words and ways to ease your heart when a parent dies”   It is a collection of letters that I wrote to my mother shortly after she died from a quick and unexpected illness.   “I wrote” the letters is sort of an inaccurate statement.  The letters wrote themselves through me, and I just provided the pen and paper.  It was an extraordinary creative experience that changed my understanding of life, creativity, art and expression.

I’ll be publishing excerpts of the book here on this blog, along with audio excerpts as I have time to complete them.  If this blog gives you comfort after the passing of your parents, I am glad.  Please pass it on to others who may need it.  Just search the CATEGORIES to the right and you’ll find the things that are relevant to you.

In 1999, we published “Do You Still Laugh, Do You Still Sing” and sold a few copies in bookstores in Dallas, Texas, online and at various speaking events.  Then, I let it rest.  The hardcopy of the book will be available again soon.   Keep checking back for blog published excerpts and news on the hardcopy.  Peace to you, my friends.

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