“Five Reasons You Won’t Die” on the Huffington Post

At little moments I feel the truth of that statement.  When I was very young and people would die it seemed a mystery.  Then in early adulthood death seemed a tragedy.  And now in real adulthood it seems a mystery again. From Robert Lanza, MD on the Huffington Post:  ”Your consciousness will always be in [...]

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A Few Angels for you…

Angels are comforting to many people, so I am posting a few here.   I can’t say for sure that angels exist, but if they don’t, I will be a little disappointed.  These are angel sculptures from Recoleta, the magnificent cemetary in Buenos Aires.  I was there last month and was amazed at the tributes people [...]

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Take your time.

Take your time with the belongings of the deceased. do not pressure yourself to “handle things” and do not let anyone else pressure you to “handle things”. Touch everything you want to touch. Acknowledge everything you want to acknowledge. Remember everything you want to remember. Treat it all with love and respect. You are not [...]

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Buying the hard copy of this book…

The hard-copy of “Do You Still Laugh? Do You Still Sing?” is currently being re-designed for e-book distribution and new hard copy. If you would like to receive notification of publication, leave a comment in the comments section below. Or you can contact the author by email and she will put you on the list [...]

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Meet “The Five Stages of Grief” by Elisabeth Kubler Ross

Elisabeth Kubler Ross gave the world a great gift in her life’s work. I will repeat her five stages of grief here and I recommend you purchase her classic book “On Death and Dying” The Stages: 1) Denial – This isn’t happening. 2) Anger -  Why me/us?  It’s not fair. 3) Bargaining – Just a [...]

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Where your loved one left them…

Leave the bedroom and perhaps the desk of the deceased undisturbed for as long as you can.  You can feel their presence among those things for quite a while.       We invaded Mother’s room probably a little too early.  This was brought to my attention by my sister, Theresa.  She was right.  Mother’s shoes were [...]

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Do not be too strong…

When death arrives, do not be too strong. There are many people who want to do things for you at this time.  Let them. Let them do every little thing they desire to do. And ask for assistance. Ask for assistance with every little thing you have to do.      I asked a long-time family [...]

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Stories…

When someone dies, stories and vignettes become very important.  Tell stories and listen to the family tell stories.  If you recall an experience you shared with the person who has passed away and that experience warms your heart – share that story.     When my father passed away, one of the neighbors from our grade [...]

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Chop wood, carry water…

Chop wood and carry water.  The simple things.  These are the things to tend to when someone dies.  The laundry. The dishes. Taking out the trash. Cutting the grass. The groceries. The bathrooms. Stay with the children. Just show up and do them. There is so much love in those acts.  Make sure the family [...]

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Being There…

When the parent of a friend dies — Simply be there. At the funeral home. At the church. At the house. Just be there. “If you need anything…”  the bereaved can rarely think of what they need.  What I noticed is they need you to think of what they might need as the brain kind [...]

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