“When a man is tired of pleasure, he is tired of life.”

These words were written on a shaving mug that my father used for mixing the lather for his morning shaves.  At the end of his life there was very little pleasure left and so, he was tired of life.  How do you suppose our lives might be different if one day we all woke up [...]

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How the letters began…

Three days after her passing, I began a spontaneous writing of letters to my mother that would last for several weeks.  For the funeral I was put in charge of the music, and we were having difficulties about the music choices and who would perform which music for the funeral (it can get very taxing when [...]

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I’ve read about the pulling back that people do as they are dying…

You can see it in their behaviour sometimes months before they die, sometimes only days before.  They stop creating conversation – can’t be pulled into ideas or thoughts about the world – getting ready for the transition.  My mother did some of that before we even knew that she was ill.  But in the last [...]

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For us, Mother’s passing was very different than Daddy’s…

When Daddy died we were all so strong – just like him.  As my mother quietly and seamlessly slipped from this life, we all softened.  My eldest brother sobbed like a little baby crying for his mommy.  It seemed to be harder on the boys than the girls.      In the room, as she lay [...]

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Years later it would occur to me…

Although went to college for acting, I happened to study at a college that was well known for their nursing graduates.  I recall a moment when I was listening to 2 nursing students speak quietly about a dying man they both were tending to.  As an outsider listening in to the world of nursing, it all sounded pretty horrible [...]

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The Story before the letters:

Daddy was a big man.  He was a big man with a big voice - a big, loud, spontaneous laugh and splendid story telling ways.  He was a lot of fun.  Quick, strong, bold, big, decisive movements were the patterns of his being.  He walked with an east coast vigor and purpose as if he had the [...]

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