August 24, 2008 by powerhungry
“It is 1999 and both of my parents have passed away. And there is nothing special about this.”
In 1999, I wrote a book called “Do You Still Laugh? Do You Still Sing? Words and ways to ease your heart when a parent dies” It is a collection of letters that I wrote to my mother shortly after she died from a quick and unexpected illness. “I wrote” the letters is sort of an inaccurate statement. The letters wrote themselves through me, and I just provided the pen and paper. It was an extraordinary creative experience that changed my understanding of life, creativity, art and expression.
I’ll be publishing excerpts of the book here on this blog, along with audio excerpts as I have time to complete them. If this blog gives you comfort after the passing of your parents, I am glad. Please pass it on to others who may need it. Just search the CATEGORIES to the right and you’ll find the things that are relevant to you.
In 1999, we published “Do You Still Laugh, Do You Still Sing” and sold a few copies in bookstores in Dallas, Texas, online and at various speaking events. Then, I let it rest. The hardcopy of the book will be available again soon. Keep checking back for blog published excerpts and news on the hardcopy. Peace to you, my friends.
Posted in About This Blog, The Forward | Tagged a death in the family, book about death, book on dealing with death, book on death, cremation, dealing with death, death, death of a friend, death of a parent, death of father, death of mother, do you still laugh? do you still sing?, father's death, funeral, heaven, melinda augustina, mother's death, on death and dying, opera, parent death, voice teacher, wake, what do you say when someone dies, what is it like in heaven, what to say at a funeral, what to say when someone dies, when someone dies, when someone dies what do you say | Leave a Comment »
September 24, 2009 by powerhungry
Music you choose for your loved ones memorial service is a deeply personal decision. Some families have a very easy relationship with music. There are songs that define the members of the family very easily and that is the music the family chooses to play for memorial services. For those of you who might be looking for suggestions, I offer up a few. If you have music that worked for your families, please share links in the comments section. Thank you.
VOICES OF ANGELS: If you’d like some voices of angels, and music more on the formal, spiritual side, we suggest you peruse through options from Grammy Award winning Kansas City Chorale. My mother trained almost half of the singers in the chorale and so, of course their music was entirely appropriate for her services. and much of the music is universally moving. We chose music from their albums ALLELUIA, An American Hymnal and FERN HILL, American Choral Music and their BRAHMS album.
Link here: http://bit.ly/fC0J1
ON THE JOYFUL SIDE: It is natural and necessary to allow Grief to take you down her long and winding road, and it’s also natural and necessary to let moments of joy surface during that trip. Sometimes at the end of memorial services for a well lived life, a joyful sendoff can be a great gift you give the attending friends. For that moment, may I suggest Dance On My Grave by Seconds Flat.
“No procession, no depression
Only good thoughts from you and my kin
No more crying, no goodbye-ing
Rejoice my passing, have a good stiff drink and kick your shoes off… Will you please dance on my grave…with your barefeet on the ground… “ check it out. It’s beautiful.
Listen here: http://kpig.com/stybin/pigplayer?c=5&p=2&e=1
Or buy it here on the KPIG Greatest Hits 2 Album right on over he’ya… http://bit.ly/4pECce
My only other encouragement to you is to tune in and observe now what music is beautiful and meaningful to your parents and other loved ones. As it become obvious, set aside CDs, purchase second copies, or download the music now so there is no rush when the actual funeral arrives. There are 1000 other details to tend to in the moment, so a little care now, can make that difficult moment so much easier.
Posted in Angels, Five Stages of Grief, Music for Funerals and Memorial Services | Tagged Dance on My Grave, Music for funerals, Music for memorial services, Seconds Flat, Voices of Angels | Leave a Comment »
June 30, 2009 by powerhungry
We found this piece of prose when my mother died. I think someone gave it to her when my father passed away. Author is Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral
‘The King of Terrors’, a sermon on death delivered in St Paul’s Cathedral on Whitsunday 1910, while the body of King Edward VII was lying in state at Westminster. Thank you to http://poeticexpressions.co.uk for letting us know who to credit for this beautiful work.
Death is nothing at all… I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you…whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone; wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.
Posted in what to say at a funeral, what to say when someone dies | Tagged all is well, death in the family, death of father, death of mother, death of parent, funeral, poem about death, Poem for a funeral, what to read at a funeral, what to say at a funeral | Leave a Comment »
November 10, 2008 by powerhungry
Angels are comforting to many people, so I am posting a few here. I can’t say for sure that angels exist, but if they don’t, I will be a little disappointed. These are angel sculptures from Recoleta, the magnificent cemetary in Buenos Aires. I was there last month and was amazed at the tributes people built to their loved ones. You can see all four photos here in the gallery –
Peace to you.
Posted in Angels, Things To Do When Someone Dies | Tagged angel sculptures, Angels, beautiful cemeteries, buenos aires, cemetery, comfort of angels, death in the family, death of father, death of mother, do angels exist, final tribute, in the arms of the angels, photos of angles, recoleta, teaching the angels to sing, what to say when somebody dies, what to say when someone dies | Leave a Comment »
November 8, 2008 by powerhungry
Mother,
My heart looks for you everywhere. When I arrive at the airport. When I enter your house. Looking in the dining room I see Regina – and for a second – my heart thinks she is you. My heart skips a beat and a flash of excitement runs through me – only to be sobered by reality.
My mind imagines that our grief over losing you is greater than your grief over losing your mother and I know that is not true. I’m embarrassed at how little we knew about how to assist you through that experience.
Posted in The Letters | Tagged death of my father, death of my mother, grief, grieving, how to grieve, last will and testament, my father died, my mother died, on death and dying, stages of dying, stages of grief, what to say at a funeral, what to say when someone dies, when someone dies | Leave a Comment »
November 1, 2008 by powerhungry
Posted in Translation / French - Francaise | Tagged ce qui-à-dire à un enterrement, ce qui-à-dire lorsque quelqu'un décède, de décès du père, funérailles, la mort, la mort d'un parent, la mort dans la famille, la mort de la mère, maison funéraire, mon ami est mort - que dois-je dire à sa mère et da, qu'est-ce que je dire lorsque quelqu'un meurt, que dois-je dire à un enterrement, que faire quand un ami meurt | Leave a Comment »
November 1, 2008 by powerhungry
Posted in Translationa / Italian - Italiana | Tagged che cosa faccio a dire a un funerale, cosa dire ad un funerale, cosa dire quando qualcuno muore, cosa fare quando un amico muore, di cosa ho dire quando qualcuno muore, funerale casa, funerali, il mio amico è morto - che cosa faccio a dire a lei e, la morte del padre, la morte della madre, la morte di un genitore, la morte in famiglia, morte | Leave a Comment »
November 1, 2008 by powerhungry
Posted in Translation / Spanish - Espanol | Tagged ¿qué debo decir en un funeral, ¿qué decir, ¿qué decir cuando alguien muere, ¿qué decir en un funeral, ¿qué hacer cuando un amigo muere, cuando alguien muere, funeral, funeraria, la muerte, la muerte de la madre, la muerte de uno de los padres, la muerte del padre, la muerte en la familia, mi amigo murió - ¿Qué debo decir a su mamá y da | Leave a Comment »
November 1, 2008 by powerhungry
Dear Mother,
Right now, everyone is gone. It is evening and I sit in the living room in the middle of the sofa and I feel only a fraction of what you must have felt every time the troops arrived and departed. There is a lump in my throat, a sadness in my eyes, a breaking open of my heart, a tingle in my stomach.
And now, a curiosity enters my eyes and a sense of excitement. So I imagine that sad moment would translate into freedom and excitement for you, too.
You were so brave. I know that for you it was nothing, but to me you seemed so brave. To let 9 pieces of your heart loose into the world for better things and sometimes for worse things.
And my first desire is to sit at the piano and play. How can that be? Are you inside of me? I am happy to play for you – just remember, I don’t play the piano as well as you – I only stumble.
I feel your stance, your nobility, your way in me as I consider it and so I know it is your desire. So I will play.
Posted in The Letters | Tagged death of a parent, death of father, death of mother, death of parents, what do do when, what to do when a friend dies, what to do when a parent dies, what to say at a funeral, what to say when someone dies, when someone dies | Leave a Comment »
September 4, 2008 by powerhungry
Take your time with the belongings of the deceased. do not pressure yourself to “handle things” and do not let anyone else pressure you to “handle things”.
Touch everything you want to touch.
Acknowledge everything you want to acknowledge.
Remember everything you want to remember.
Treat it all with love and respect.
You are not just cleaning out a house, or a closet. You are being given the opportunity to walk through a life. Treat it with respect and love.
One friend of mine has yet to clean out her mother’s clothing and belongings a couple of years after-the-fact. She said she’ll go visit her dad and see a scarf or sweater or something else of her mother’s and take it home with her. She said she can feel her mother’s energy when she wears those things and it’s a little piece of her mother with her.
How beautiful.
Taking home little pieces like that has made the change smoother and a little easier for her.
Posted in Things To Do When Someone Dies | Tagged book about death, book on death, books about dying, death, death of a mother, death of a parent, funeral, on death and dying, The Monday Before Thanksgiving, tibetan book of life and death, when someone dies | 1 Comment »
September 4, 2008 by powerhungry
The hard-copy of “Do You Still Laugh? Do You Still Sing?” is currently being re-designed for e-book distribution and new hard copy. They will be available for sale most likely this fall.
We do have a few “demo copies” that are small, spiral bound, and imperfect which we are happy to sell to you if you feel you have someone who needs it ASAP. Please be aware, these “demos” have typos, layout flaws and a very simple cover.
If you want to purchase one, please email me at melindaaugustina AT yahoo DOT com and I will respond.
Posted in Buying the Book, Things To Do When Someone Dies | Tagged book, book on death, books about death, death, death of parent, do you still laugh? do you still sing?, funeral, melinda augustina, my friend died, The Monday Before Thanksgiving, what to do when someone dies, what to say at a funeral | 3 Comments »
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